"when are you gonna get married?"
"Are you going to get married?"
"Why aren't you married yet?"
And the answers are:
we're not. no. and, we can't.
Let me explain.
A few years ago we found out that if we are to marry, Carsyn will lose everything. He'll lose his SSI benefits and will no longer be eligible for his insurance. We CANNOT afford for Carsyn to lose anything. We already struggle to get his medical marijuana and put food on the table. Todd has a full time job and I'm working 2 part times just to be able to do so AND still give my kids a Christmas.
I know there are going to be people pissed off that that's the reason why we aren't getting married. That were "abusing the system" but let me be clear. The system is set up for you to fail anyway. We are damned if we do and damned if we don't. We aren't thinking of ourselves here, we're thinking about CARSYN and CARSYN ONLY.
So if you're going to be pissed about it, be pissed but don't put me down for making sure my son is cared for in the only way I can make sure he is. because let me be very clear here. I'll even put it in bold and all caps if it helps you to understand:
CARSYN WILL DIE WITHOUT HIS INSURANCE OR SSI
Got it?
Without his insurance there is no way I can pay for his hospital stays, his surgeries, his MEDS. Even with co-pays. and without SSI we can't afford the meds insurance doesn't cover and the trips to Rochester, Buffalo, Erie and Syracuse. and again, without those trips to see his doctors HE CAN DIE.
I don't know how to put it any clearer for you.
This was one thing I couldn't give Todd's dad before he passed. HE wanted to see Todd and I married. and it hurt like hell not to deliver on this.. but I can't do that to my son. and he understood.. at least I hope he did.
I'd love to marry Todd, but I can't. Because with the both of us married we'd make just under 300 USD too much. 300 USD that go to Carsyn's medication and doctors trips.
So thanks for understanding, and if you don't:
<3
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