Non-verbal Doesn't mean Stupid

About 3-4 years ago, as we were talking about having another child (since ya'll know we can't get married, see my last post if you didn't know) A therapist made a comment about it being Todd's first biological...

Todd and I had made the decision that Carsyn did not need to know about Todd being his step-dad as his biological has not EVER wanted to have anything to do with him (unless he was trying to impress a girlfriend or his now wife. He liked to pretend he wanted to see him but never followed through).

Carsyn had no idea he was not biologically Todd's child. He was too young to remember Todd entering his life.

Maybe some of you won't agree with that.. but remember, Carsyn is not your typical functioning child. My whole thing was explaining this to him knowing that he can't ask me questions, he can wonder why his biological doesn't want anything to do with him, why he doesn't see him, why he doesn't love him like Todd does and I would have no idea.

Now my relationship with my father is a ton better than it used to be. We talk at the very least text each other to see if everything's ok once a week. but as a child I often wondered those same things if he wasn't around.. This post is NOT about my childhood and my relationship with my father, I was just showing that I know those thoughts well, and I NEVER want either of my kids to ever feel that way.

So Carsyn can be having those thoughts and I wouldn't know... because and let me spell this out for you:

NON-VERBAL DOES NOT MEAN HE'S STUPID.

He understands when hes doing something naughty, in fact he thinks it's hilarious.

Last Christmas when he was up until midnight waiting for Santa I had to tell him if he wasn't sleeping in the next half hour Santa would have to skip our house... He was asleep 10 minutes after I said that.

He shows me every day that he knows whats going on, he understands whats going on.

I tell him that the biological part doesn't matter, it's not important. but how do you keep telling someone that when that's all anyone ever brings up? It is brought up at least once a month with therapists even though it's not their business... I've had family from Todd's side do the same thing.

If you ask Todd if Carsyn is his, he'll say yes with no hesitation.

Why is it that this is something people have to bring up?

Just stop. It wasn't your news to share and it's not your news to talk about.


Carsyn's GoFundMe